The Cubicle Continuum

 He got his start laying pipe for the Atlas Water and Sewer company.  Eventually, he climbed the ranks, becoming responsible for a staff of 800 and annual revenue exceeding $120 million. His name is Victor Kipling. This is his weekly column.  After wishing you, kind readers, the very best for the New Year, you should know that I've been asked - or ordered, more to the point - by my editor, to offer this first article of the new year in as positive a light as possible. After all, we do indeed believe in the possibility of new beginnings, and your humble narrator is no exception. And so we strive to maintain a mostly peaceful co-existence and balancing act between the eternal optimist and the hard-edged cynic. And maybe, just maybe, some truth comes out of this mix.As we're forced to suffer through but another media-saturated and truly pathetic political season, the relationship between politics and the office environment becomes all the more interesting. No, this isn't at … [Read more...] about Your Boss Could Be a Dictator

 He got his start laying pipe for the Atlas Water and Sewer company.  Eventually, he climbed the ranks, becoming responsible for a staff of 800 and annual revenue exceeding $120 million. His name is Victor Kipling. This is his weekly column.  The end of the year is usually marked by much pseudo soul searching,  attempts  at tallying  accomplishments and failures, and a sort of assessment of benefits and deficits.  We are indeed plagued by a level of societal-induced self doubt that causes us to try and tabulate exactly who we really are, based upon a calendars' annual arbitrariness. In this respect, the Cubicle Continuum, and your humble writer, as part of the great Jobacle team, is no different, and suffers from the same malady.For the past few months, it's been my privilege to provide you with a weekly column that speaks to the relevant world of work issues that we're all subjected to, and must confront, each and every day. Whether we're discussing … [Read more...] about Cubicle Continuum Looks Towards '08

 He got his start laying pipe for the Atlas Water and Sewer company.  Eventually, he climbed the ranks, becoming responsible for a staff of 800 and annual revenue exceeding $120 million. His name is Victor Kipling. This is his weekly column. As part of an annual ritual, I usually amble into Staples at this time of the year to buy next years' appointment book. If you read my last column, you know that I do everything possible to avoid, avert and evade the holiday hustlers who patrol the entrances of drug stores, mega-stores and everything in between.Once in the store, I’m surprised to find that these appointment books are in very short supply, since almost the entire store is dedicated - no, devoted to -  all sorts of techno stuff. It's almost like paper is going out of style. Call me old school, but for me there's nothing like a clean, fresh, high-quality genuine leather appointment book. It's almost mystical, scanning the blank calendar pages, and knowing that … [Read more...] about Salute to the Office Secretary

 He got his start laying pipe for the Atlas Water and Sewer company.  Eventually, he climbed the ranks, becoming responsible for a staff of 800 and annual revenue exceeding $120 million. His name is Victor Kipling. This is his weekly column. While the barrage of begging continues year 'round, it is never, ever worse than at Christmas time. Professional solicitors (aka Chariteers) well know, it's the time of year when sentimentality is at its height and common sense at its lowest. There appears to be no escape from the ongoing charity onslaught. Turn on the radio, especially during drive time, and you'll be sure to hear either laughing or crying children, and the charities they supposedly represent, wanting you to donate your car to them. Switch on the TV for some mindless, escapist stuff, and you're bound to see some very slickly produced pleas for the homeless, the addicted, the sick or the dying - especially those in some fly infested and far away place. Your mailbox is … [Read more...] about Say NO to Charity Collections at the Office

 He got his start laying pipe for the Atlas Water and Sewer company.  Eventually, he climbed the ranks, becoming responsible for a staff of 800 and annual revenue exceeding $120 million. His name is Victor Kipling. This is his weekly column.Alarms rang and sirens whooped while red lights flashed with laser-like intensity. The entire area was suffused with urgency, and a sense of emergency sliced, like a knife, through the office. Execs and clerks gasped, almost in unison, when they heard the news...Yes indeed, it was finally confirmed that Joe (you know, the unassuming guy in the third cubicle from the window) was actually overheard using a...a...stereotype about a certain group when talking to a friend on the phone! Who would have thought, they said, that a seemingly normal person like Joe was such a, well, fascist. And then the attacks really began - he's probably also a smoker, drives a gas guzzler, votes Republican, likes his steak rare and even watches FOX cable news!, … [Read more...] about Admit It, You Stereotype Too!

 He got his start laying pipe for the Atlas Water and Sewer company.  Eventually, he climbed the ranks, becoming responsible for a staff of 800 and annual revenue exceeding $120 million. His name is Victor Kipling. This is his weekly column.  If Halloween doesn't give you the creeps anymore, well then maybe you ought to think again. True, it's cool outside and leafless trees stab at night skies. And the usual slash-mouthed jack-o-lanterns seem to leer at you as they blink from behind darkened windows. Movie monsters like Michael Meyers, Jason and Freddy re-emerge for the annual TV horrorthons. Weilding bloody axes and knives, we mistakenly call them 'psychopaths.' If only it was that simple... Most of all, Halloween is all about masks; masks and disguises. And while we find this a bit of harmless fun once a year,  the fact is that, hey, it's really Halloween at the office every day!  Because many of our co-workers, and bosses, wear masks all of the time. Some … [Read more...] about Psychopaths Loose at the Office

 He got his start laying pipe for the Atlas Water and Sewer company.  Eventually, he climbed the ranks, becoming responsible for a staff of 800 and annual revenue exceeding $120 million. His name is Victor Kipling. This is his weekly column. I confess. I have been sneeringly called ‘Mr. October’ by my baseball buddies. They say that I only care about the final outcome, the proverbial bottom line, and they’re right. Why wouldn’t I want to see the very vetted, the best of the best, compete against each other in the World Series? If this means that I forfeit the privilege of being considered a true-blue, all-American baseball fan, well then the hell with it.  Now, you may well ask what, if anything at all, has this to do with the Cubicle Continuum? Just consider the Joe Torre story. There’s some mighty meaty stuff to think about here. Stuff that certainly transcends Torre, the New York Yankees, or even baseball in general. Because, in the end, … [Read more...] about Management: What Have You Done for Me Lately?

He got his start laying pipe for the Atlas Water and Sewer company.  Eventually, he climbed the ranks, becoming responsible for a staff of 800 and annual revenue exceeding $120 million. His name is Victor Kipling. This is his weekly column.For some reason, and even among those of us who snoozed during history class, we know - almost intuitively - to avoid, avert and stay very far away from anything to do with 'isms.' There's an almost primitive gut feeling that kicks in and tries to alert us to the fact that most isms are, well, bad for you.Nope, this isn't about the usual suspects; capitalism, communism, fascism or even etceteraism. Instead, it is about another  ism, and I guess you can label it an organism. That's because it's growing, like a rampant infection, without apology,  appearing all over the workplace. Its name? NEPOTISM. By far one of the ugliest, most frustrating and morale-destroying of the isms. Worse yet, it's one that almost all of us have been … [Read more...] about Nepotism Puts Your Career in Jeopardy

 He got his start laying pipe for the Atlas Water and Sewer company.  Eventually, he climbed the ranks, becoming responsible for a staff of 800 and annual revenue exceeding $120 million. His name is Victor Kipling. This is his weekly column.In their never-ending quest to show a human face, most corporations claim that they want you to think of your cubicle, or assigned bullpen area, as a ‘home away from home.’ After all, you are expected to spend a helluva lot of time there.If you believe this stuff, then I strongly suggest a reality check. Just think about this seemingly benign little memo that a friend who works at a major company recently shared with me. The text is from an e-mail which she received from (you guessed it) her HR department. By the way, and it’s probably not coincidental, that this was sent to all staff shortly after everyone had to complete a mandatory on-line ‘sensitivity survey.’ “While we at the Corporation seek … [Read more...] about Ominous HR Rules Toxify the Office

 He got his start laying pipe for the Atlas Water and Sewer company.  Eventually, he climbed the ranks, becoming responsible for a staff of 800 and annual revenue exceeding $120 million. His name is Victor Kipling. This is his weekly column.Are unisex jumpsuits ready to become the very latest in office fashion? After all, they’re serviceable, practical, non-offensive and, well, one size fits all. How very appropriate for the modern march towards collectivism! Clerks and CEOs unite; you have nothing to lose but your dry cleaning bills. Just think of the advantages - no one will dress sloppily, or provocatively, or provide grist for the daily gossip mill. Yes, the proponents of the bullpen, the advocates of political correctness and the adversaries of individualism and independence are probably selecting your jumpsuit color as you read this... Yet, and if we really think about it, the office as an institution has always demanded that it’s employees wear a … [Read more...] about Uniform Dress Codes for All