Career Advice

Last week I noticed a rather plump-looking lady rimming a glass with her big sausage finger, whilst intermittently and seductively glancing at me. She was also twirling her long blonde hair with the index finger of her other hand. So I did what any extremely intoxicated man would do. I brought that chunky honey home and fell asleep on her back moments before intercourse. This experience opened my eyes to a whole new hidden underlying world. It conjured up the notion in me that people can be read and understood simply by their body language. So, after some quick research and a lot of unscientific induction, I have arrived at this...4 ways to utilize body language in the work place.   Mirroring In body language terms, the word mirroring basically means adopting the identical gestures and postures of the person with whom you are speaking. This copying is a means by which one person “tells” the other that he is in agreement with his ideas and attitudes. This knowledge … [Read more...] about Common Office Body Language

“Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.”  - Pope John XXIII (1881-1963) Pope Benedict XVI just wrapped up a six day trip to the United States. His trip most recently included a rally with 60,000 people at Yankee stadium, as well as a visit to Ground Zero. Everyone has their opinion on the Pope, or the Catholic Church for that matter, but discussing those controversies is for other blogs. I'm wondering; what can we learn about work from the Pope?True, the Pope has a role that is incredibly unique. It is probably difficult for you to imagine yourself in his position. Consider this: the Pope is the head of an organization with over 1 billion members. He leads a staff of over 400,000 priests and 4,800 bishops. There must be something we can learn from him about work. Indeed, I … [Read more...] about 4 Work Lessons From the Pope

After two years in the same position, I was promoted last week.  Hold the applause.  While I'm happy at the level of faith my company has showed in me, I might be suffering from something I'm coining as postpartum promotion.I finally got what I wanted; higher pay, a larger staff, greater visibility, etc.  However, the adrenaline rush I thought I'd experience was simply not there.  Sure, it felt good for the remainder of that afternoon, but the positive feeling vanished - quickly.Am I an ungrateful and negative bastard?  I tend to think not.  After a little self-reflection in the shower this morning (sorry for the visual), here are a few reasons why I think I'm not that psyched.- From the start I've felt overworked and underpaid, so a promotion barely  levels the playing field.- The reality is that the amount of work I have is not proportionate with the pay. Not close.- No tasks were taken away, but plenty were added. - A (hypothetical) 10% increase, … [Read more...] about My Anticlimactic Promotion = Identify & Cope

Just as Benjamin Franklin convinced us that nothing in the world was certain but death and taxes, nothing in the office is as certain as boredom and consequently, gossip. Gossip is an inevitable and unavoidable pettiness in the workplace.  No matter your stance on it, it will always prevail and it will always be there.  Just as we manage daily our grasp on death and taxes, we must manage and deal with office gossip.  Here are some tips on coping: 1. NEVER be the person spreading the gossip.  Unless you want the nickname Chatty Cathy, and then by all means, go for it. 2. When it eventually comes your way, remember that office gossip is similar to the game telephone you played as a kid.  It certainly isn’t the same information it was when it started.3. When the information comes your way, play ambivalent.  I don’t care if you just found out that your boss is sleeping with the CEO of your company and it finally explains how the idiot has kept … [Read more...] about Office Gossip: As Certain As Death and Taxes

Some people squirm at the mention of the word "vocation." (Not to be confused with vacation - how could anyone be uncomfortable with a vacation?) Some people equate it with the word "calling," which usually implies some sort of religious component. Some people picture chains when they think of the word. They avoid thinking about "vocation" because it means being locked into something for the rest of their lives. I think vocation is something different than that. I prefer this definition: Activity pursued as a livelihood. It says nothing about work. It doesn't mention a job. It is broader, more encompassing. Even the word livelihood can have a broader definition than the more narrow view that it is a means for support or sustenance. To really live, to have a thriving "livelihood," humans need much more than money. We need purpose, we need human interaction, we need support. If we take vocation at its broader meaning, it can start to provide for … [Read more...] about What Is Vocation?

If you haven’t already taken my advice and left your job, you should do so now. If you’re still not walking out the door, then all I can do is offer some friendly advice. Below are some ideas I used to follow when I worked at my last testosterone fueled job. This job was proper “boiler room” stuff, and these suggestions used to help me stay motivated and happy, so hopefully, they can help you too. Do it NOW, not later When you have one of those annoying chores to do, do not sit there and think about it. Just do it (as the marketing-gimps in Nike like to say). The more you think about doing a task, the less likely you are to do it. Each negative thought you associate with the task will increase the perceived difficulty level, making you feel less empowered to do it. This will also make you more stressed, so when you are eventually forced to do “that report” or “those figures,” you probably will not do a good job. So, quite simply, go do it now…avoiding all that unneeded stress … [Read more...] about Maintaining Happiness & Motivation at Work

Long-time readers of this blog (and podcast listeners!) might be aware that I'm on the prowl for a new house.  Always the obsessor, I'm in full research mode.  Maps, charts, grids, financial tables and so on.  Given that this is the single largest investment I might ever make, it certainly warrants extensive research.  And that got me thinking... We should all put this amount of effort into the job hunt.  But I'm willing to bet that many of us don't.  Here are a few reasons why you should make your job hunt like a house hunt. Is It the Right Price (Salary): When looking for a home, it is important to first understand what you can afford.  The same way it's key to know what salary range you are comfortable with.  It's easy to fall into the trap of looking for a job that offers less (or more) pay than your qualifications and experience dictate.  Whether it's a house or a job, narrowing down your search will yield better results, over a … [Read more...] about Search for a Job Like You're House Hunting

The corporate office park can be a black hole when it comes to creativity.  Let's face it: People without progressive ideas are more passive, thus easier to manage.  Many companies, unfortunately, have systems in place to stifle creativity.  If you are unfortunate enough to land at a place that shoots down your forward-thinking ideas on contact, fear not.  There are still several ways you can get that creative fix - and still collect a paycheck.Blog.Many are scared that they'll get fired for blogging on company time.  But as long as you're not outing company secrets - and the topic is unrelated to your business - I argue that it can actually help you hone your writing skills and creative thinking, in turn, benefiting you and your employer.Log Thoughts.  Keep a calendar of what you would like to do.  Yesterday's fleeting idea could be the groundwork for tomorrow's business plan.  It all comes down to taking action - but it starts with a seed. … [Read more...] about Fighting a Creative Black Hole at Work

Hmm, now some might say I’m biased towards working because I’m a lazy piece of sh*t. Others might say I’m doing the right thing, when I give two fingers to the system, and quit a job I’m unhappy with. But you, what do you think deep down? Do you love your job so much that you want to spend nearly half your life there? If you do, then great, go nuts! But if you’re like me (and I have an inkling you are), then we should do something. We should do something amazing. We should all just leave our jobs, and let nature take its course.  Here are 5 reasons why we should quit our jobs:  1. Unhappiness. Nobody actually really likes working. However, if you're one of those people who insists you really love your job, I don’t believe you. Actually I would go as far as saying that you people should be burned at the stake. Now this may seem a bit harsh, but in order to make a delicious Shangri-La omelet it is necessary to burn, I mean break a few eggs. … [Read more...] about 5 Reasons to Quit Your Job Today