Career Advice

Time might heal all wounds, but it certainly doesn't solve all business problems.  In the working world, most of us are at the mercy of the clock: punching in, lunch hours, time cards and so on.  Early in our careers we are trained to be as efficient as possible, cramming our hours to be multi-tasked to the max.  One lesson seldom taught in the power of inefficiency.  I've already talked about how the 'experts' waste time at work.  Today we're going to look at clock stoppers. These are bosses who know how to get your projects stuck in quicksand, and in the process, stop you in your tracks - or at least slow you down to a tortoise's crawl.Here's how they do it...DROWNING IN PAPERWORK. Paper has power. It can make things move forward or grind them to a halt. Usually, the more of it there is, the longer the delay. Any boss worth his/her salt knows the best way to get an employee off their back is to ask them to produce more paper.  It could be a memo that … [Read more...] about 5 Ways Your Boss Stops Time (and you in your tracks)

Ever have a new person start at your office who within a week is acting as if they own the place?  Don't blame the person, blame the organization (or your co-workers).Sure we want to make the rookie comfortable. Gone are the days of office hazing. (You know, stapling shrimp under a person's chair).   The same way we train a dog, it's important to establish ground rules with the newbie early on, and enforce them consistently.This might sound cruel, but it's especially important for people who work closely with the new hire. The logic is simple - assuming you aspire to grow within the organization, you will need the respect of your peers.  Plus, you'll make the transition easier when  you finally get that deserved bump. Redefining roles is a cumbersome workplace challenge. Why make things harder on yourself?  Including the rookie in every conversation and bringing them up to speed on every in-joke is a mistake.We leave breadcrumbs in all relationships, yet … [Read more...] about How to Treat the New Person at Work

Some sales men are hilarious. Yesterday, this dude was trying to sell me a 40" LCD television, even though I showed no interest what-so-ever. He had obviously just read some “how to” pop-psychology book on sales techniques, and was practicing his new found knowledge. His first “great idea” was to maintain eye contact, but in reality he just freaked the sh*t out me, because he was staring so much. At one stage I actually thought he was going to morph into Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs and slaughter me. Much to my pleasure...he didn’t. Anyway, this whole idea of eye contact is the basis of this article. Here is what I could find:  Fixed Eye Contact: This is the gaze our nutty salesman adopted. The problem with this gaze is that a lot of the time it can make the other person feel very uncomfortable. It is almost as if they are literally looking into your brain. This type of eye contact can often be seen in people in a position of power (or those who wish to be), and can be … [Read more...] about 4 Strategies to Look Into My Eyes

I am not a huge comic book/superhero fan, but I did enjoy The Dark Knight this past weekend.  While a posthumous Oscar for Heath Ledger might be a bit much, there is no doubt that strong acting, coupled with violent outbursts of action, made the film a smashing success.But I'm not here to lobby for Ebert or Roeper's old job.  Rather, I'd like to tell you why you are Batman and your boss is The Joker. Or the other way around.The prevailing theme throughout The Dark Knight is the dependency between the hero and the villain.  Without each other to fight, where would the other be?  The question to ask yourself is: how good would you be at what you do without a boss?The answer might seem simple: 'I'd be better off with no one to answer to!'  But let's look a little deeper.  Take a crack at these questions:Without a boss...- Who would you fight?- Who would motivate you?- Who would hold you accountable?- Who would you rally against?- How would you fill the time?- … [Read more...] about Are You Batman? Your Boss The Joker?

For those of you who work in an office environment, you will of course be aware of the concept of boredom. Me, myself, my imaginary friend Barry the horse, and George the office-plant are becoming more and more stir crazy by the boredom that exists in the realm of the office. If this boredom is allowed to persist, it will inevitably lead to a fully fledged psychosis, in which everything and anything becomes possible. Due to this fact we have taken it upon ourselves to stand up to this tyrannical concept, and come up with ways to overcome it. Here they are:  IKEA: Browse through the new improved IKEA website. Those Swedes have come up with some fantastic home decorative concepts that have left their furniture rivals weak at the knees with squirting orgasmic jealously, and throbbing blue veined temple region anger. Recently I bought a toaster from them. It’s lovely.   Buy a Pet: Animals are cute, and my dog always cheers me up. It doesn’t matter if its been 10 … [Read more...] about Things to Do at Work When You’re Bored

Have you ever been to a job interview and felt completely overwhelmed when you sat in the “hot” seat? Have you ever felt so nervous that you were oozing buckets of sweat even before your interviewer asked you those tricky intricate questions? Well, it may not be your fault for feeling like this. It may have something to do with the cunningness of your interviewer. It is likely that your interviewer may have arranged his office furnishings to raise his own status and power, and, in doing so, lowered yours. Just look at the chairs around your office and then look at the executive ones and you’ll see the difference. Here’s how it works... Chair Size: The height of the back of the chair raises or lowers a person’s status, and the high-backed chair is a well-known example. The higher the back of a chair, the greater the power and status of the person sitting in it. Kings, queens, dictators, popes etc… always have ridiculously pronounced chair backs to … [Read more...] about The Status of Chairs. Where Do You Sit?

Food days, potlucks, international feasts, share days…no matter what you call it, these gluttonous events remain a serious work hazard.  OSHA should have a workplace regulation that bans these (and vending machines while they’re at it).  As we spend more time sitting in our cubicles, our natural tendency is to find a way to relieve the boredom.  Why else would we look forward to the monthly food day with as much anticipation as a long weekend?  Ok maybe not quite that much enthusiasm.As summer rolls in with full force, many of us find ourselves scurrying around trying to start that 10-day diet or at best, a half-hearted attempt to stick to the one you were already on.  Then enter the food day at work, complete with macaroni and cheese, lasagna, homemade chicken strips (who can pass up homemade??), potato chips, brownies, cookies, cake…I could go on forever.  If you are one of the fortunate ones that does not know what I’m talking … [Read more...] about The Work Hazard Known As Food

Here's how the story usually goes: "I HAD to leave.  My boss was determined to make my life miserable." In my experience, both personal and secondary, I have discovered that in the majority of cases, the failure of the relationship lies on the employee, not the boss or the organization. People who tend to get 'unlucky' and experience this misfortune over and over again, usually can use a little self-reflection.  Start with these questions: - Have you had more than one 'horrific' boss who 'drove you crazy?' - Do you find yourself thinking very bad thoughts (not in a good way) about a current or former boss? - Do you feel these 'evil' bosses not only held you back but went out of their way to keep you down or make you miserable? - Were you or are you so desperate to find a new job that you're willing to work anywhere, earning just about anything? If you answer 'yes' to most of these questions for more than one job, there is a good chance that you will need to … [Read more...] about You or Boss: Who’s at Fault?

You always hear about how over 50% of marriages are doomed to fail from the start. To anyone who is happily married, the statistic sounds grossly exaggerated.  With several friends and acquaintances on the brink of the big 'D-word,' I've been thinking about the parallels and differences between the relationship we have with our significant other and the relationship we have with our jobs.  Each couple seems to head for Splitsville for different reasons, yet there is a consistent theme: they all try to force it to work for too long.We human beings seem to have a very difficult time 'quitting while we're ahead.'  Win $200 at the roulette table?  Give it all back.Talk about selling your home? While you were talking, prices have dropped.Get laid off after years of ignoring signals?  Exactly.Your relationship with your employer isn't all that different than a marriage (with less sex).  You'll have butterflies in your stomach as you court one another; times when … [Read more...] about You Are NOT Married to Your Job (you are only dating)

It's not just horror movies that give folks the willies. From natural disasters to a floundering economy, there's no shortage of workplace fears. Since going to the office is such an integral part of our lives, and an anxiety-provoking one at that, I think it would be interesting to discuss common work terrors.Here are a few common ones that have hit the Jobacle inbox over the years. Check them out and please tell the U.S. News community what freaks you out in the comments section on their Website.GETTING FIRED: The economic downturn has certainly added fuel to the fire. How will you break the news to your family? Pay the mortgage? Find another job? This is the powder keg of panic, potentially leading to a bevy of unpleasant, catastrophic thoughts.PUBLIC HUMILIATION: Whether you stumble during a presentation, spill coffee on your pants, or drop an F-bomb within earshot of your boss, no one wants to be embarrassed—especially in front of people you are forced to see on a daily … [Read more...] about Scaredy Cat? 7 Common Workplace Fears