Career Advice

So there we were, gathered around the pool table, frosty beers in hand.  It was only the second time in years that we decided to meet like this, outside of the grey hallways of work. It was happy hour.  And much to my dismay, it was quite therapeutic to speak freely with minimal risk of getting caught. Many of those HotMonsterBuilder sites like to post regularly on the perils of mixing alcohol and coworkers.  While it can easily be a recipe for a cocktail I like to call a 'pink slip,' if you have the discipline to stay in control, you can get a much better bonus then 2-for-1 drinks. Here are some of the benefits of attending a happy hour with your coworkers: *A casual atmosphere lends itself to people loosening up, resulting in the transfer of knowledge.  Look past their negative gripes for information that can be useful as you plot your advancement. * You get to associate with people you might normally have the opportunity to talk to.  Getting to know people on a personal … [Read more...] about The Career Benefits of Happy Hour

Yesterday was like any other day at the office. It was boring, dull, and as flat as a small black dog squashed by a large yellow steam roller. So, a couple of the guys and I got together in an effort to escape the nightmarish reality of work. However, we realized that some of our usual pranks had become void of excitement, and the boredom we were experiencing had robbed us of our jouissance. To overcome this, we decided to make a prank call to our CEO.  But much to our dismay, this proved to be rather difficult, as the company we work for is a Fortune 500 one, and you cannot just call up his secretary and get transferred. So, after a lot of trial and error we finally got hold of the CEO’s personal cell number. We called him up, said the word 'PENIS,' hung up, and giggled like little school girls.  Here’s how we got his number:  The Executive and Non-Executive Board Information is key for a successful blag. If you go into the company Website, you should be … [Read more...] about How to Prank Your Company's CEO

As I continue to look for a house, I've realized that there is a good chance that I might end up living very close to the same area where I work.  That means my commute, which right now is about 30 minutes, could actually drop down to under 10.  Perhaps even five!At first you might think, 'wow, that's great!'  You can go home for lunch - maybe even catch a quick nap.  You'd bring siesta back to NYC baby!  But upon further examination (because I must over think everything), I'm starting to wonder if it's possible to live too close to work.  Among the negatives:1) No excuses.  You will always be expected to be at work, regardless of the weather, irrespective of car trouble.2) The chosen one.  Living close to work will likely increase the odds that you will be asked, or expected, to do something on the weekend or afterhours.3) Unwanted passenger.  If your colleagues run into car trouble, and are forced to take public transportation, who will … [Read more...] about Living Too Close to Work: A Problem?

Last week I told you about a chunky honey that needed some loving, and how it all ended with a sexual mishap, and a unexpected offspring that was an article about body language in the work place. This week, as promised, I have some more useful tips which will help you gain an advantage in the big bad world of work. Today we will focus on deceit and doubt gestures that are commonly seen around the office. The Mouth Block It you ask a small child a question and they lie to you, it is very obvious they are doing so. They fidget a lot, avoid looking you in the eye, and usually cover their mouth. This mouth cover can also be observed in adults when attempting to be deceitful. Basically what happens is some of the fingers of the hand covers the mouth, and the thumb is pressed tightly against the cheek. This action occurs because the brain sub-consciously instructs the hand to hide the deceitful words being said. A fake cough can also accompany this gesture. This fake cough is an … [Read more...] about Identifying Deceit in the Workplace

For the 130 million households receiving an economic stimulus check, it's a very exciting time.  You are probably daydreaming of new furniture, a new bathing suit for the summer or perhaps that 'can't miss' diet plan.  Whatever your refund dreams, set aside part of it to put back into your career.  Just as Prince told us to party like its 1999, invest your money into your career like we’re in a recession.  How, you say?  Here are a few ideas: 1. Buy a new suit.  That suit you bought for your first interview has lost a few buttons over the years (or decades), and yes, everyone notices.  If your profession doesn’t require a suit, spring for the required outfit to spruce up your appearance.2. Purchase a relevant career book. If you want to get ahead, career-focused and motivational books can lend a helping hand.  Even if after graduating high school/college you made a vow to never read again, some rules were made to be broken.- … [Read more...] about 5 Ways to Invest Your Tax Rebate Check Into Your Career

Starting today, domain names with a dot me extension will be sold for the first time to the general public.  Originally reserved for the tiny nation of Montenegro (extra points if you can spot it on a map), the country has decided to ride the social networking wave by removing previous restrictions on .me domain name ownership.  Smart move.  After suffering financial losses of over $6 billion in the late 90s, the dot me revolution could help the territory dig out of debt.Domain registration service EnCirca will be facilitating the sale process and has announced the following roll out schedule:* May 6 - May 20, 2008: General Sunrise* May 20 - June 6, 2008: Quiet Period* June 6 - June 26, 2008: Land Rush* June 26 - July 17, 2008: Quiet Period* July 17, 2008: Open RegistrationI would recommend marking July 17 on your calendar today.  That's the day you would be wise to purchase YOURNAME.me.  It's a natural fit for an online resume and a smart way to take ownership … [Read more...] about WorkHack: Buy YOURNAME.me

Way back when I remember an interview with a rock star. I don't remember who it was, but I vividly remember his answer to a question.Q: What sets famous people apart from 'regular' people.A: Tailored clothingThink about it.  Even when the stars wear absurd looking clothing, it always seems to fit right.This rocker's secret was having his measurements taken in the U.S. and then having his clothes custom made overseas.  In his words, it actually worked out to be cheaper than buying from your local chain store.  Proving that point is new Website IndoChino. These guys will custom-tailor non-designer suits (made in China) starting at $199.  Not sure if my washed up rocker friend is behind this great idea.Speaking of clothes fitting right...I need your help with a serious problem,  Every day I'm being suffocated.  Perhaps you read about my anticlimactic promotion.  Well since then, my boss has been riding me about my tie know.  I'm NOT kidding.  I … [Read more...] about My Necktie Is Killing Me Slowly (and other fashion tales)

Last week I noticed a rather plump-looking lady rimming a glass with her big sausage finger, whilst intermittently and seductively glancing at me. She was also twirling her long blonde hair with the index finger of her other hand. So I did what any extremely intoxicated man would do. I brought that chunky honey home and fell asleep on her back moments before intercourse. This experience opened my eyes to a whole new hidden underlying world. It conjured up the notion in me that people can be read and understood simply by their body language. So, after some quick research and a lot of unscientific induction, I have arrived at this...4 ways to utilize body language in the work place.   Mirroring In body language terms, the word mirroring basically means adopting the identical gestures and postures of the person with whom you are speaking. This copying is a means by which one person “tells” the other that he is in agreement with his ideas and attitudes. This knowledge … [Read more...] about Common Office Body Language

“Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.”  - Pope John XXIII (1881-1963) Pope Benedict XVI just wrapped up a six day trip to the United States. His trip most recently included a rally with 60,000 people at Yankee stadium, as well as a visit to Ground Zero. Everyone has their opinion on the Pope, or the Catholic Church for that matter, but discussing those controversies is for other blogs. I'm wondering; what can we learn about work from the Pope?True, the Pope has a role that is incredibly unique. It is probably difficult for you to imagine yourself in his position. Consider this: the Pope is the head of an organization with over 1 billion members. He leads a staff of over 400,000 priests and 4,800 bishops. There must be something we can learn from him about work. Indeed, I … [Read more...] about 4 Work Lessons From the Pope

After two years in the same position, I was promoted last week.  Hold the applause.  While I'm happy at the level of faith my company has showed in me, I might be suffering from something I'm coining as postpartum promotion.I finally got what I wanted; higher pay, a larger staff, greater visibility, etc.  However, the adrenaline rush I thought I'd experience was simply not there.  Sure, it felt good for the remainder of that afternoon, but the positive feeling vanished - quickly.Am I an ungrateful and negative bastard?  I tend to think not.  After a little self-reflection in the shower this morning (sorry for the visual), here are a few reasons why I think I'm not that psyched.- From the start I've felt overworked and underpaid, so a promotion barely  levels the playing field.- The reality is that the amount of work I have is not proportionate with the pay. Not close.- No tasks were taken away, but plenty were added. - A (hypothetical) 10% increase, … [Read more...] about My Anticlimactic Promotion = Identify & Cope