Hmm, now some might say I’m biased towards working because I’m a lazy piece of sh*t. Others might say I’m doing the right thing, when I give two fingers to the system, and quit a job I’m unhappy with. But you, what do you think deep down? Do you love your job so much that you want to spend nearly half your life there? If you do, then great, go nuts! But if you’re like me (and I have an inkling you are), then we should do something. We should do something amazing. We should all just leave our jobs, and let nature take its course.
Here are 5 reasons why we should quit our jobs:
1. Unhappiness.
Nobody actually really likes working. However, if you’re one of those people who insists you really love your job, I don’t believe you. Actually I would go as far as saying that you people should be burned at the stake. Now this may seem a bit harsh, but in order to make a delicious Shangri-La omelet it is necessary to burn, I mean break a few eggs. Now as I was saying, according to the criterion laid down in the Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (DSM-IV-TR), most workers would probably be diagnosed as suffering from some sort of depression, clinical or not. This is reason enough to stop working, without mentioning some other relevant points. But hey I said 5 reasons, and I’m a man of my word. So let’s make up some more.
2. We need rebels.
We as a society don’t have any major “rebels.” We need more people like James Dean, Jim Morrison and Zack de la Rocha (where is he now actually?) who will make things a little bit more exciting. People who are going to question the way people live their lives, and rebel just for the sake of rebelling. I mean, most days in my old job, the only thought that would get me through the day, would be when I imagined myself as a bank robbing surfer, like the lads in Point Break. Anyone else dream like this in work, or am I the only one? Please say you do, otherwise I’ll feel fragile. Anyway, by following in the path of our rebel leaders, we can acquire true freedom, not like that fake freedom on the weekends, and over the holiday periods. I’m talking about the real juicy kind. Watch the movies Into the Wild and Instinct, and you’ll get what I mean.
3. Brain growth.
We should allow our brains to grow. The part of our brain that controls reason, moral judgment, language and social skills is called the frontal lobes. If you look at the brains of other members of the animal kingdom, you will see that these areas are not as well developed as ours. This allows us to have complicated interactions with others, and also develop our creativity, and linguistic abilities. Now, some of the Greek philosophers like Thales, Aristotle, Plato and Socrates figured out a long time ago that the way to expand this new area of our brains is simply to do more philosophizing (thinking), and less work. By doing this we are taking minute evolutionary steps that will allow us to continually evolve into the thinking beings that we are. I suggest that by going to work, and doing the same mind-numbing-boring work, you are slowing this process down. So yeah, sit at home and think, because as we all know, laziness breeds genius.
4. The aftermath.
Think about it, if everyone just left their job at the same time, there would be a state of emergency and panic. But then again, maybe everyone would be so relieved about leaving their job, that nobody would actually give a sh*t. Money would enter some sort of black hole, and a strange credit system would come into being, whereby people only work for the greater good of humanity, which in that case, wouldn’t really be work. You would only do what you wanted to do. So I guess toilets would never be cleaned, and no-one would ever work in McDonalds. Now, obviously there are some major problems with my theory, but I suggest we never discuss that, OK?
5. Take up blogging.
If were not working, then we have time for blogging. So yeah, leave work, be free, write to your heart’s content, and expand those frontal lobes. If you love what you do, then you’ll never work a day in your life.
This is a guest post by Chris O’ Hara.
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