Things to Do at Work When You’re Bored

For those of you who work in an office environment, you will of course be aware of the concept of boredom. Me, myself, my imaginary friend Barry the horse, and George the office-plant are becoming more and more stir crazy by the boredom that exists in the realm of the office. If this boredom is allowed to persist, it will inevitably lead to a fully fledged psychosis, in which everything and anything becomes possible. Due to this fact we have taken it upon ourselves to stand up to this tyrannical concept, and come up with ways to overcome it. Here they are:
 
IKEA:

Browse through the new improved IKEA website. Those Swedes have come up with some fantastic home decorative concepts that have left their furniture rivals weak at the knees with squirting orgasmic jealously, and throbbing blue veined temple region anger. Recently I bought a toaster from them. It’s lovely.   

Buy a Pet:

Animals are cute, and my dog always cheers me up. It doesn’t matter if its been 10 minutes or six months since he’s seen me last. He always acts in the same slobbering excited way when I get home. Obviously I can’t bring him to work with me, but I can bring a hamster, and I did. He lives in my drawer, and gets regular exercise in a little orange wheel. His name is Pauline and I think he’s gay.

The Lift (aka The Elevator):

If you happen to be using the lift and there is one other person in it, go over and stand right beside them, facing directly towards them. Watch them squirm with discomfort, and sweat uncontrollably. After this, you can explain that you are bored and then invite them for a coffee. An offer they can’t refuse.  

Engrish:  

Check out the website Engrish.com. It’s a tribute to the cunning linguistic skills of some members of the Asian family, including humorous signs, pictures and product descriptions you might find in China, Thailand, or Japan. Here’s an example:

Room massage:

Reservation is the extension of no. 329 (the person of hope before 16.00 is the front of no. 22)

In the case of reservation a large number. also when i refuse. it is.  

I know what you’re thinking; what!?
 
Ah, Engrish.  Hours of undeterminable fun!

Cough it up!  What do you do when you’re bored shi*less at work?

This is a guest post by Chris O’Hara.