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A beautiful day is any day when you learn something new. Over  the weekend I learned about Parkinson's Law.  Not as disgustingly evil as the Parkinson's Disease, but pretty darn crappy in its own right.The risk of having a blog with transparency is that you set yourself up to look like a fool if you mention something that the rest of the world already has knowledge of.  Whatever. Simply put, Parkinson's Law states the following:"Work expands to fill the time available."Don't play dumb with me, cube dweller.  You know exactly what I'm talking about.  Your boss gives you a project with an end date attached.  When do you finish?  Right at the end date. Sure, maybe some of you newbies or "team players" will get the project in before the deadline, but think about it - you spent plenty of time dragging your feet.  That 60-minute project always turns into the length of time your boss will give you. I've always proclaimed that the … [Read more...] about Warning! Rapidly Spreading Office Epidemic

Today I'm going to start a feature on the blog which I did for a short time on the podcast: The Forward of the Week.  Sometimes annoying, useful and funny (or none of the above), these forwards tend to clog my inbox.  So I figure, hey, why should I suffer alone!?  Sometimes we'll be  saving the life of a burn victim in Somalia, other times reminiscing about the 80s - whatever it is, I can guarantee it's more important that what you're doing at work.We run a clean ship here in Jobacle Land, so be warned that today's forward contains some foul language and sexual content.And if you have a forward that you want to share or put up for consideration, keep it to yourself!The 3-Minute Management CourseLesson 1:A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.  The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.  When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.  Before she can … [Read more...] about The 3-Minute Management Course

I don't know about you, but I play video games (not often) in order to escape reality.  Whether I'm throwing a 90 yard touchdown pass or pulling some dude out of a car and beating him with a baseball bat, there's undoubtedly a vicarious thrill that comes along with gaming.So, when I first read that NBC had licensed The Office to be made into a video game, I cringed.  You see, I spend enough of my day making copies, avoiding awkward small talk and plodding through the corporate hallways.  If you think I'm going to enter Dunder-Mifflin (and not get paid!) to carry out silly pranks and everyday office duties, you are off base!  Unless I'm bashing Dwight's skull in, I'll pass.Look, the game might be wildly addictive, but I think these licensing deals have gone far enough.  For those of you looking to "work" after hours, the game will be available for the Nintendo DS, Sony's PSP, and downloadable on PCs this fall. … [Read more...] about The Office – The Video Game

Every day I get up at 7:08am.  I'm on the road by 7:52am.  Swipe my company ID at 8:23am.  I walk in, boot up my computer, put my lunch in the fridge and settle in for a day that is already looking like yesterday.I can sit at my desk and clank away at the keyboard for hours.  I can take my lunch break at 1pm and tell everyone to "have a good night" at 4:30pm.  The point is, that many of us get sucked into the monotonouss world of corporate routine.  There's no cheerleader urging me on to complete that latest project with a bang. No kind words of appreciation. No true incentive. At the end of the week, it will be the same paycheck.But fear not! Here are five tools that will help self-motivate - and they're all less embarrassing then bringing pom-poms to work!Set Personal Goals.  Long-term, short-term and everything in between!  Write them down and keep them visible.  Look at them often and assess what you are doing to reach … [Read more...] about Self-Motivation: A How-To Guide

Jason (name changed for security purposes) just hit his big 20 year anniversary with my company.  For his loyal dedication and service he received the cheapest piece of luggage I have ever seen. I've seen thicker paper towels!Company anniversary gifts are simply the WORST.  If you really want to thank me, you won't hand me a piece of corporate propaganda and ask me to be a walking billboard.Year 5: Pen and pencil setYear 10: A blanketYear 20: Piece of rolling luggage w/ monogram  Garbage.That brings up a question I'd like to talk about regarding YOU and your company logo.  How do you feel about wearing it in public?Personally, I've never been comfortable with it.  Whether I'm working for the largest XYZ firm in the nation or some mom and pop - I don't like people asking me questions while I'm waiting online for a poppy bagel and Formula 50 Vitamin Water.  I'll never forget the time I was working for FOX News Channel and I was out doing interviews in Times … [Read more...] about You Will Be Judged by Your Company Logo

It's an ugly metaphor but I'll go for it anyway.  You don't want your career to end up like the War in Iraq - a no-win situation - with no end in sight. You see, the days when dad had one job and retired on a pension are over.  Corporate allegiance to employees is scarce.    These days you're likely to change careers three to five times.  And don't forget, you might change jobs up to six times within a career. Job-hopping is not recommended.  However, getting stuck in career quicksand will only leave you with a lower paycheck and gold watch (after 30 years) for all of your troubles.Regardless of where you work, things can head south quickly.  Whether the company is undergoing a massive reorganization or your boss just retired and some hotshot took his place, you can't put a price on being prepared to jump when the time is right.Here's six items that will help you map out a Career Exit Strategy:- Update your resume regularly.  I … [Read more...] about How to Plan a Career EXIT Strategy

"What does your dad do for a living?" "He manages business." This exchange between Kevin Arnold and a classmate from the Wonder Years illustrates a common theme among kids of all ages - we had no idea what our parents did for a living (especially dad!). In light of Father's Day's being right around the corner, I wanted to share clips from the third episode of the Wonder Years - "My Father's Office." The episode is a brilliant commentary on the intermingling between work and family - or the lack thereof. Long before Office Space had their TPS Reports, poor Jack Arnold was pushing S14 Forms as a manager of distribution and product support services for NORCOM. KEVIN: What's your office like? JACK: It's an office. Four walls, a ceiling, a door. There were other lessons too. JACK: Tell you what, Kevin, it is time you learned about the most important part of the working day... the coffee break. I remember the handful of times I went up to work with my dad. It was like they added a holiday … [Read more...] about Going to Work With Dad – Contest!