With the emergence of text messaging and e-mails, normal human interaction is on the decline. Texting in particular, has replaced regular telephone conversation, and we no longer have to worry about ad-lib mistakes in dialogue. In fact, we can edit and re-edit everything we wish to convey, so we appear cleverer, funnier, and more literate than we may actually be. So why not use this exuberant gift from the Gods for a higher purpose? Why not use it to text in sick to work? (Editor's note: Proceed with caution. If you need a reminder of the dangers of texting in sick, click here.) Below is a tried and tested way to text in sick to work. I know it works, because I use it. I use it all the time. In fact, I’m using it right now which is why I’m sitting on my firm ass writing this beautiful piece of slightly arousing art. Oh my God, did I just say that? It’s a pity my delete button is broken, otherwise, I’d use it. Anyway, here’s how it works. The Day Before When you are in work … [Read more...] about Texting In Sick: The How-To Guide
Blog
Fighting a Creative Black Hole at Work
The corporate office park can be a black hole when it comes to creativity. Let's face it: People without progressive ideas are more passive, thus easier to manage. Many companies, unfortunately, have systems in place to stifle creativity. If you are unfortunate enough to land at a place that shoots down your forward-thinking ideas on contact, fear not. There are still several ways you can get that creative fix - and still collect a paycheck.Blog.Many are scared that they'll get fired for blogging on company time. But as long as you're not outing company secrets - and the topic is unrelated to your business - I argue that it can actually help you hone your writing skills and creative thinking, in turn, benefiting you and your employer.Log Thoughts. Keep a calendar of what you would like to do. Yesterday's fleeting idea could be the groundwork for tomorrow's business plan. It all comes down to taking action - but it starts with a seed. … [Read more...] about Fighting a Creative Black Hole at Work
Mega Millions Winner Burns Bridges…Fast
We've all had the dream: Win X millions of dollars and tell the boss to shove it!David Sneath, a 34-year veteran at the Ford Motor Co. parts warehouse, turned it into a reality."I yelled to the boss, 'I'm out of here!"Hey, after winning $136 million in the Mega Millions jackpot, who can blame him. But here's where the latest member of the millionaires club might have taken it too far."I worked for Ford Motor Company...I won't be buying a Ford product."Ouch.As if departing with absolutely no notice wasn't enough, Sneath applied a bitchslap on his way out. It must have felt like the cherry on top, right?He might want to think twice.Given the well-chronicled fall from grace many lotto winners have experienced, it could only be a matter of time until poor David needs that hi-lo job back.Perhaps sensing his options might be limited should his luck turn for the worst, Sneath has now said he never made the anti-Ford statements.Before making a move - whether you … [Read more...] about Mega Millions Winner Burns Bridges…Fast
Career Death Wish: Calling Head of HR a "Skank Ho"
Lenny P. came across this interesting job rejection letter on Scribd and sent it over. In case you were unaware, it's never a good idea to call the head of human resources a "Skank Ho." And yes, Skank Ho should be capitalized! Read this doc on Scribd: bbc skank ho … [Read more...] about Career Death Wish: Calling Head of HR a "Skank Ho"
Forward of the Week: Carlin on Aging
Love it or hate it, it's the Forward of the Week. You know the drill. If it invades our inbox, you get to read about it too! Here's comedian George Carlin's thoughts on aging...> Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.> 'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key> You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.> 'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!> But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. … [Read more...] about Forward of the Week: Carlin on Aging
Are You a Leader? Questions to Ask Yourself.
Ah, the mystique of leadership - a phenomenon that we've all been brought up to value, revere and even aspire to. Leaders are made, not born, or so they say...and they abound in just about every movie ever made. After all, it's really a continuation of the Horatio Alger myth; ever striving onwards and upwards, fighting adversity, and overcoming all odds to be a 'success,' a leader of others.Yet, in our real world cubicle continuum, all too often we've seen not the best and the brightest, but the kiss-asses, sychophants, back-stabbers and other assorted dirt-bags promoted way, WAY beyond their capabilities. And so we've been generally more cursed than blessed with poor managers and even worse leaders. It's almost a generic - or genetic - institutional flaw. Just look around you. All too often, the charismatic, Pied Piper types are the worst of all.Yet, countless books, articles and the like have been written about leadership and management, and the possible differences between the two. … [Read more...] about Are You a Leader? Questions to Ask Yourself.
5 Reasons to Quit Your Job Today
Hmm, now some might say I’m biased towards working because I’m a lazy piece of sh*t. Others might say I’m doing the right thing, when I give two fingers to the system, and quit a job I’m unhappy with. But you, what do you think deep down? Do you love your job so much that you want to spend nearly half your life there? If you do, then great, go nuts! But if you’re like me (and I have an inkling you are), then we should do something. We should do something amazing. We should all just leave our jobs, and let nature take its course. Here are 5 reasons why we should quit our jobs: 1. Unhappiness. Nobody actually really likes working. However, if you're one of those people who insists you really love your job, I don’t believe you. Actually I would go as far as saying that you people should be burned at the stake. Now this may seem a bit harsh, but in order to make a delicious Shangri-La omelet it is necessary to burn, I mean break a few eggs. … [Read more...] about 5 Reasons to Quit Your Job Today
Review: Career Test at Project Career
Like a high school career test, but with more ads.Choosing a career is one of those horribly stressful choices in life that can take a lot of time, energy and thought. And whenever something takes so much effort, human beings have this habit of looking for an easier way. Thus career tests were born. You probably remember these tests from a high school career class. If you're like me you thought they were a waste of time, and manipulated the answers to see what kind of crazy career you could make it come up with. The career test at Project Career is a lot like those tests, except with a ton of annoying ads imploring you to sign up for some online university. The test asks you 105 questions about your interests and then provides an assessment that ranks your interest in certain fields such as Social Services, Finance/Accounting and Health Care. Here are some pros and cons with the test:Pros* Fairly straightforward interface* Lots of good information about the careers that match your … [Read more...] about Review: Career Test at Project Career
The Truth About Teachers
More Sex and the City than Head of the Class, many of today's teachers are just like you and me: potty-mouthed servants living paycheck to paycheck, suffering from the Sunday Night Blues.As a kid, teachers were in a league of their own. They existed only to teach. I never pictured them heading home, cooking dinner, paying bills, and so on. While none of these are major revelations, it's a good time to remind you about the truth surrounding one... >They curse. No big surprise here. But did you know that many of them curse about the children. F'n bastards,' 'little prick,' as*hole,' etc.No word is too vulgar to describe the misgivings of students. You might think your child is not applicable. Think again.>They have sex. Some even with each other. Of course there's the occasional headline-grabbing sexually depraved animal that takes advantage of children. No. I'm talking about full-on consensual, legal, legitimate … [Read more...] about The Truth About Teachers
What Employers Want From Entry Level Grads, etc.
Here's a look at some of the big career news from the past week.JOBACLE: For the blog, March came in like a lion...and is leaving like a lion! Over 15,000 unique visitors, new partnerships and lots of freelance work: I can't thank you all enough! Your continued support is appreciated.ENTRY LEVEL EMPLOYEES: CollegeGrad.com, an entry level job Website, has released the results of a survey examining what employers want most from recent college grads. The results:#1 - The student's major (44%)#2 - The student's interviewing skills (18%)#3 - The student's internship/experience (17%)#4 - The college the student graduated from (10%)#5 - Other miscellaneous qualifications (5%)#6 - The student's GPA (4%)#7 - The student's personal appearance (1%)#8 - The student's computer skills (1%)Five hundred "top entry level" employers participated. Are we really supposed to believe that only 1% of the folks care about appearance? C'mon! This is the real world. … [Read more...] about What Employers Want From Entry Level Grads, etc.