Work Humor

Baseball season is upon us, meaning day games galore for the sports fan. Unfortunately, most of us are stuck at work for the majority of the day, meaning very few opportunities to enjoy this time of year. Baseball season is especially tough on those of us working in an office or cubicle every day. If you can’t make it to the game, or your favorite sports bar – why not bring the atmosphere to your office? Some of us are lucky enough to have bosses that are bigger sports fans than we are, but for the most part, you have to be careful to not attract too much attention when turning your office into your sports sanctuary. But through some carefully selected appliances and décor, you should be able to enjoy your favorite sports without catching any heat. Here are three rules for turning your office into a sports sanctuary along with the items you’ll need to pull it off.  1. Always have a cold drink availableEver been to a ball game and not have something to … [Read more...] about How to Turn Your Office Into a Sports Haven

Okay, let’s think outside the box for a moment. Reach out to your team, engage them and if no one pushes back, get them working on that process map. Had enough yet? I’ll admit it, as annoying as they are; business buzzwords fascinate me - their origin, meaning, etc. But because I work primarily at home alone or with patients, I’m not exposed to the latest jargon. I have to call upon my corporate world contacts (Shout out to my anonymous source!) find out the latest. One obvious thing about most biz words is that they are action-oriented, but also a tad testosterone-laden (see: “drill down” or “SWAT team” to “attack” the problem.). So in the same spirit as Office Bingo, let’s have some fun with them.Choose the answer that best defines the Buzzwords below...1. “Software Agnostic” is___a. Someone who is skeptical about software in general.b. Someone who is ambivalent about converting religious texts to a … [Read more...] about Biz Buzzword Multiple-Choice Quiz

To clarify, I don’t want a job in the television industry; I want a job like the characters in TV shows portray. Admittedly, I watch way too much TV and because I’m both a career-site blogger and therapist, I’m intrigued by how certain professions are presented. Thanks to TV and movies, many of my patients think that they have to lie down on the couch in my office. Nah, not how it’s done in real life, at least in my practice. But what fascinates me is how little time they actually spend working on TV shows. Soap operas have always been notorious for characters having professions that require almost no time at the worksite. Since most male characters historically have been doctors or lawyers, occasionally they leave the house to go to work. But there is still time to drop in on other key players on the show to chat any time - day or night. Years ago, the women characters used to have one of three jobs - “homemaker,” home-wrecker” or the more … [Read more...] about I Want a “TV” Job

Is there an appropriate place to talk on your cell phone at work?  I've made several calls today, from several different locations, and have come to the answer - a resounding 'NO.' AT YOUR DESK: Using the business phone for 'personal business' is frowned upon, but using your cell at your desk is a tell-tale sign that you are not working. Worse yet, you're inclined to distract others from their work. Way to go team player! IN THE BATHROOM: Just plain creepy.  The concept of the work bathroom (which should be upgraded) is simple: do your business, wash your hands, and move on.  I work with a guy who texts while peeing, and that's just plain wrong.  I'm no scientist, but the likelihood for some nasty germ transfer must be paramount. IN THE BREAKROOM: Look around.  There are people eating, sleeping, reading and writing. Do you really think they want to spend the lousy few minutes of "me" time they get listening to you blab?  IN THE HALLWAY: The human race … [Read more...] about Office Cell Phone Ban Needed?

The Winter Olympics are about to get underway. You know, the ones with actual athletes?  While there's enough snow here in New York to get some freestyle aerial skiing done during lunch, we'd rather stick with indoor Office Olympics.   The following made-up events will get everyone at work involved in some kooky team “sports,” and may even boost morale. They are most enjoyable when organized using billable time (what?), and without the knowledge of “the boss” (or whatever you call that guy who signs your check).  Cue the opening ceremony and lets get started! The Pencil Pusher. In this game of skill, contestants have 30 seconds to lodge as many sharpened No. 2 pencils as possible into suspended ceiling tiles. Because projectile objects will be flying through the air, safety glasses are recommended. The Banker. Contestants take turns shooting rubber bands at the ceiling, in an effort to bank them into a coffee mug placed in the middle of a conference table. The player with the … [Read more...] about Office Olympics Ideas

It’s a Scientific FactI made that up, but doesn’t it feel that way? With a holiday, you get a nice day off at the beginning or end of the week. But you know you’ll be punished on the remaining workdays. Not only has your workload multiplied while you were away, but the days seem interminably long. It takes 6 hours just to get to lunch!There must also be a universal equation: holiday + boss’s bad mood = new projects he makes up out of thin air. It makes no sense that in a 4-day week you would actually have the time to complete tasks that it normally takes you 5+ days to accomplish. So throw in a new project and you’re doomed. Cancel happy hour or dinner out. You’re there for the duration. It’s a trade off - you get a day off, but the work awaits. My hubby runs into a different scenario. He works 4-10 hour days. But on holiday weeks he works 4 regular 8-hour days. Since he usually starts his 10 hours early, he looks forward to going in late … [Read more...] about Workdays on Holiday Weeks are 2.5 Hours Longer

Dear Bathroom Hand-Washing Faker, I'm on to you. We're ALL on to you. You saunter into the bathroom, conduct your business, and then glance around... If you feel no one can identify you, you leave. No hand-washing.  No manners.  No hygiene. You might think you have us fooled, but consider the following: ** Most people glance under the stalls and can identify you by your shoes alone. Soooo...if you exit the stall when I’m at the urinal and leave the bathroom without running any water or activating the hand dryer, there’s a good chance I know who you are. Even if your footwear isn’t a dead giveaway, I can see your reflection in the shiny tiles or in the metallic piping of the toilet. ** Running the water for only two seconds is not enough time to wash anything. Plus, we all know to listen for the sound of the soap pump dispensing and the swishing noise of your hands rubbing together. ** If I enter the bathroom as you leave, and do not hear the hand dryer winding down, I … [Read more...] about Dear Office Bathroom Hand-Washing Faker…