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Dear Office Bathroom Hand-Washing Faker…

by Werdna Yug Leave a Comment

Dear Office Bathroom Hand-Washing Faker…

Dear Bathroom Hand-Washing Faker,

I’m on to you. We’re ALL on to you. You saunter into the bathroom, conduct your business, and then glance around…

If you feel no one can identify you, you leave. No hand-washing.  No manners.  No hygiene.

You might think you have us fooled, but consider the following:

** Most people glance under the stalls and can identify you by your shoes alone. Soooo…if you exit the stall when I’m at the urinal and leave the bathroom without running any water or activating the hand dryer, there’s a good chance I know who you are. Even if your footwear isn’t a dead giveaway, I can see your reflection in the shiny tiles or in the metallic piping of the toilet.

** Running the water for only two seconds is not enough time to wash anything. Plus, we all know to listen for the sound of the soap pump dispensing and the swishing noise of your hands rubbing together.

** If I enter the bathroom as you leave, and do not hear the hand dryer winding down, I will assume you did not wash your hands. The blower runs for 60 seconds, about 20 seconds too many. Without the perk of paper towels, the only other option is circling back for toilet paper (in which case you have soiled your hands again) or wiping your wet hands on your clothes (which is nasty in its own right).

I’ve seen you put more effort into pretending to wash your hands than putting in the work to actually wash them.

Do you enjoy spreading germs? Are you aquaphobic?

You’re not fooling any of us. So stop faking! Stick your hands under the faucet, and do as I do, wash your freakin’ HANDS!

Sincerely,
Jobacle.com (Where ALL employees must wash their hands, always!)

Related reading:

Office Bathroom Upgrade Ideas
Workplace Hygiene Run Amok

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Filed Under: Work Humor

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