Werdna Yug

How far you will go in the business world moves far beyond how much experience and education you've acquired.  The Jobacle Forward of the Week reviews five lessons that will not only help your career - but will help you be a better human being. Lesson One:  "Know The Cleaning Lady"During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade."Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say … [Read more...] about Forward of the Week: How to Treat People

We've already explained how the workplace is afflicted with Parkinson's Law.  So since we'll never beat the people dragging their feet at every turn, let's join 'em.  Since I work with the da Vinci of time wasters, I've been tracking his every move and am dishing out his secrets.Since I don't want to name this employee, let's call him Chatter.  He's a master of doing the minimum while attempting to look like he's busy as a bee.  He's productive - at watching time pass. Here's what I've observed.Eat, All Day LongI swear that this dude eats all three of his meals at his desk.  At 9am it's the cereal.  At 12pm it's something with garlic.  At 4pm it's more stuff with garlic.  No matter what time you approach his desk, he's chewing.  The brilliance in his plan are the small elements that make up each meal.  Let's take the steps included with breakfast for instance. - Get bowl and spoon from lounge- Walk to back of building to get milk- Bring … [Read more...] about Expert: How I Waste Time at Work

I don't know about your neighborhood but mine has been invaded by 99-cent stores.  While I never frequent these fine establishments, this past weekend I was beaten into submission and dragged against my will.  Amongst all of the junk was, well, more junk.  I did, however, manage to pick up a few goodies for the office.  Proof that a few dollars can make work life a bit less miserable.Extension Cord: Instant relief, yes.  Fire hazard, maybe.  A few extension cords enabled me to reposition my computer, speakers and lamp into ergonomically-friendly territory.Air Freshener: Little hanging trees aren't just for cars.  Dangling from the back of my chair, I'll now enjoy the scents of an "Ocean Breeze" instead of the usual Eau de Cologne of rust and mold.Gum: I don't know if a study has ever been done before, but I'm willing to bet this week's paycheck that people with fresh, minty breath will climb the corporate ladder faster then their … [Read more...] about WorkHack: Make Work Better for 99 Cents

A beautiful day is any day when you learn something new. Over  the weekend I learned about Parkinson's Law.  Not as disgustingly evil as the Parkinson's Disease, but pretty darn crappy in its own right.The risk of having a blog with transparency is that you set yourself up to look like a fool if you mention something that the rest of the world already has knowledge of.  Whatever. Simply put, Parkinson's Law states the following:"Work expands to fill the time available."Don't play dumb with me, cube dweller.  You know exactly what I'm talking about.  Your boss gives you a project with an end date attached.  When do you finish?  Right at the end date. Sure, maybe some of you newbies or "team players" will get the project in before the deadline, but think about it - you spent plenty of time dragging your feet.  That 60-minute project always turns into the length of time your boss will give you. I've always proclaimed that the … [Read more...] about Warning! Rapidly Spreading Office Epidemic

Today I'm going to start a feature on the blog which I did for a short time on the podcast: The Forward of the Week.  Sometimes annoying, useful and funny (or none of the above), these forwards tend to clog my inbox.  So I figure, hey, why should I suffer alone!?  Sometimes we'll be  saving the life of a burn victim in Somalia, other times reminiscing about the 80s - whatever it is, I can guarantee it's more important that what you're doing at work.We run a clean ship here in Jobacle Land, so be warned that today's forward contains some foul language and sexual content.And if you have a forward that you want to share or put up for consideration, keep it to yourself!The 3-Minute Management CourseLesson 1:A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.  The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.  When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.  Before she can … [Read more...] about The 3-Minute Management Course

I don't know about you, but I play video games (not often) in order to escape reality.  Whether I'm throwing a 90 yard touchdown pass or pulling some dude out of a car and beating him with a baseball bat, there's undoubtedly a vicarious thrill that comes along with gaming.So, when I first read that NBC had licensed The Office to be made into a video game, I cringed.  You see, I spend enough of my day making copies, avoiding awkward small talk and plodding through the corporate hallways.  If you think I'm going to enter Dunder-Mifflin (and not get paid!) to carry out silly pranks and everyday office duties, you are off base!  Unless I'm bashing Dwight's skull in, I'll pass.Look, the game might be wildly addictive, but I think these licensing deals have gone far enough.  For those of you looking to "work" after hours, the game will be available for the Nintendo DS, Sony's PSP, and downloadable on PCs this fall. … [Read more...] about The Office – The Video Game

Every day I get up at 7:08am.  I'm on the road by 7:52am.  Swipe my company ID at 8:23am.  I walk in, boot up my computer, put my lunch in the fridge and settle in for a day that is already looking like yesterday.I can sit at my desk and clank away at the keyboard for hours.  I can take my lunch break at 1pm and tell everyone to "have a good night" at 4:30pm.  The point is, that many of us get sucked into the monotonouss world of corporate routine.  There's no cheerleader urging me on to complete that latest project with a bang. No kind words of appreciation. No true incentive. At the end of the week, it will be the same paycheck.But fear not! Here are five tools that will help self-motivate - and they're all less embarrassing then bringing pom-poms to work!Set Personal Goals.  Long-term, short-term and everything in between!  Write them down and keep them visible.  Look at them often and assess what you are doing to reach … [Read more...] about Self-Motivation: A How-To Guide

Jason (name changed for security purposes) just hit his big 20 year anniversary with my company.  For his loyal dedication and service he received the cheapest piece of luggage I have ever seen. I've seen thicker paper towels!Company anniversary gifts are simply the WORST.  If you really want to thank me, you won't hand me a piece of corporate propaganda and ask me to be a walking billboard.Year 5: Pen and pencil setYear 10: A blanketYear 20: Piece of rolling luggage w/ monogram  Garbage.That brings up a question I'd like to talk about regarding YOU and your company logo.  How do you feel about wearing it in public?Personally, I've never been comfortable with it.  Whether I'm working for the largest XYZ firm in the nation or some mom and pop - I don't like people asking me questions while I'm waiting online for a poppy bagel and Formula 50 Vitamin Water.  I'll never forget the time I was working for FOX News Channel and I was out doing interviews in Times … [Read more...] about You Will Be Judged by Your Company Logo