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My boss was standing down the hallway, drinking from a water fountain.  Everything seemed normal, until I noticed the flames.  They were orange and blue, rapidly spreading across my boss's hair.  The weird part was, he didn't care.  I rushed over, cupped my hands under the stream of cold water and began to douse the flames.  The fire went out without a fight.My boss stood silently; unphased.  If anything, he seemed annoyed that I had drawn attention to the fact that his head was ablaze.I remember smelling the air, expecting the unmistakable odor of burnt hair. It never arrived.  And then I woke up.Thankfully, it's been quite some time since I've had "work dreams."  You know the type: you wake up annoyed and/or exhausted, feeling as if you just spent the last 7 hours on the job.  (If I'm gonna spend one-third of my life dreaming, I'll be damned if it's about work!  Learn five ways to control your dreams.)This dream was vivid; … [Read more...] about My Boss's Hair Is On Fire!

Jobacle welcomes our newest sponsor Job.com.  I spend a good deal of the day researching and visiting career resources in order to bring you the real deal on the best of the best.  How ironic that I had never visited - or even heard about - Job.com.   Job posters can get started for under $200 by posting ads and searching resumes.  Job seekers can painlessly upload their resume or take advantage of resume writing and distribution services.Job Alerts can be delivered to your inbox, ensuring that the perfect opportunity doesn't slip past you.With over five million visitors a month, I encourage you to check out Job.com by clicking here.Dear reader, your continued support of Jobacle and our sponsors has been tremendous.  Thank you so much! … [Read more...] about Job.com Teams With Jobacle

Unspoken status symbols at work don't make the employee handbook, but they do cross lines of sanity.Who knew that one day, Michael would aspire to achieve a great number of ceiling tiles?  You see, at his full-time job, success is rewarded with 12" x 12" squares hanging over your head.  The higher up the ladder you climb, the more ceiling tiles you are issued. For the record, we're not talking about moving someone from a cubicle to an office. We're talking about counting tiles - literally - and then pushing out your cube walls to give you more space.But wait, there's more!  The size of Michael's chair counts too. Entry-level peons get a low-back seat, mid-level employees get a mid-back (arms available at your boss's discretion) and high-backs go to, you guessed it, The Suits.Without a doctor's note, there are no exceptions. Just ask Larry.  The Chair Police literally wheeled away his seat when he was in the bathroom. Apparently, he inherited the chair when … [Read more...] about They Are Confiscating Office Chairs!

Sometimes I'll come across a post that I wish I would have written first! The gang at Alternative Reel have put togeter the "Top 10 Quotes Against Work."Check out some of the list below and visit their post to read the rest.#10 - AMBITION“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, sh*t, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?”—Charles Bukowski, Factotum, Black Sparrow Press, 1975#09 - CONTEMPT"My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the as*holes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that … [Read more...] about The Media Rages Against Work

One day, someone will invent a contraption that allows office workers to exercise while planted on their fannies. Burning calories while writing reports would be the ultimate in multi-tasking. The latest piece of exercise equipment to try to bridge your desk and the gym is the SpringFlex UB. Before I tell you about the bells and whistles, I feel I must disclose the fact that this piece of equipment is available for purchase in Sky Mall.  Yes, the magazine that we're forced to read 10,000 feet in the air. And yes, the same magazine that sells a hot dog toaster.The SpringFlex is designed to tone your upper body, curb weight gain and keep your metabolism in motion, all while minimizing injuries associated with repeated movements. (i.e. - mouse clicking, keyboard tapping)Unlike the expensive and large WalkStation we told you about last week, the SpringFlex is reasonably sized and sells for approximately $80. Considering the cubicle Bowflex wannabe claims it can perform 120 exercises, … [Read more...] about 120 Exercises at Your Desk

Winter is fading into spring, and I for one, am waiting with open arms.  Aside from enjoying sun-drenched days from the discomfort of my cubicle, I'll also be paid a visit by some of my favorite annual guests: THE INTERNS.Wide-eyed on day one, disgruntled by the end, these college-aged kids come in for a resume boost, three credits and to get mom and dad off their back.  Sometimes there's nothing like new ideas and energy to brighten up the joint!CollegeGrad.com, which specializes in entry-level jobs, has announced the Top 200 Intern Employers for 2008.  That will equate to more than 46,000 interns. Walgreens alone plans to hire 7,350 interns.Read more here.Other interesting results yielded by the survey include:53% of participating companies plan to hire more interns than last year25% will be hiring fewer interns than last year2008 will have 0.52% more interns than 2007Looking for an entry-level gig? Find out which companies are filling positions in '08.While targeting … [Read more...] about Get Ready…Here Come the Interns!

Daniel Kuch, a Washington resident, has admitted to having his friend shoot him in the right shoulder in order to get out of work.Jeez. We never thought anyone would take our Sick Day Calendar THAT seriously.Allegedly, Kuch was looking to avoid a mandatory employer drug test.  He figured the shooting, which he originally told police was a drive-by, would get him off the hook long enough to let the drugs leave his system. At least the drugs didn't impair his judgement.Kuch has been arrested for lying to authorities, and his buddy (what a friend!), Kurtis Johnson, gets charged with reckless endangerment. I've heard a lot of crazy excuses for getting out of work, but this one has got to take the cake.  Even at my most desperate moments, I've never thought of getting shot to escape the perils of work.  Saying your shot is one thing, but actually taking the bullet is another mess entirely. … [Read more...] about Man Takes Bullet to Miss Work

Can you type and walk at the same time?  I'm not talking about thumbing your portable device as you walk into work. I'm talking about walking while you tap on your keyboard and paw at your mouse.The creators of the Walkstation certainly hope you were born with the ability to multi-task.In what's possible the world's first truly "portable" office, the Workstation is exactly what it sounds like, a treadmill with a built-in work surface.Topping out at 2mph, and constructed with a whisper-quiet motor, you'll be able to burn calories without distracting your co-workers.  That is, of course, assuming that they won't be jarred by the fact that you're walking in place all day.Since one of Jobacle's missions is to Make Work Better, it's difficult for us to mock something that adds an additional layer of personal development to the place where we spend the majority of our time.  So while my instinct just wants to laugh at the thing, I won't knock it until I try it.  … [Read more...] about Exercise at Work With a Treadmill Desk?

Working with idiots kills.  And I'm more confident than ever that my days are numbered...  PART 2 Just breathe, just breathe.  … [Read more...] about Working With Idiots Kills. Literally.