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Rules of the Water Cooler Exposed

by Andrew G. Rosen Leave a Comment

Rules of the Water Cooler Exposed

water_cooler.jpgI love mornings when I wake up and a blog entry writes itself.  The content YOU guys provide is 10 times better than anything I can ever conjure up.  So check out this e-mail I received from a loyal listener of the Working Podcast.

My Fellow Co-workers,

I felt it was time to remind everyone in the division about water dispenser etiquette.  It was brought to my attention moments ago that people are frequently taking water from the water dispenser when the water bottle is empty.  This results in the cooling reservoir to be drained and subsequently there is no water left at all.  Fortunately for the rest of the division, this has happened to me 2 times this week alone, hence saving others from the frustration of their inconsiderate coworkers.  Since some individuals either can’t change the water bottle or don’t bother to check, I would like to recommend the following procedure:

1.  Every time you obtain water from the water dispenser look to see that the water in the jug is at an acceptable level (i.e., you can actually see water in the jug).

2.  If you can not see the water level, lightly tap the jug so that the water level is visible.

3.  If you do steps 1 and 2 above and still do not see any water – PLEASE CHANGE THE JUG.

4.  If you are not able to change the jug (due to the weight or awkwardness of the jug), please ask a coworker for assistance.  Actually, individuals on my team have assisted others in the past and if asked nicely may be willing to assist you for the greater good and peace of the division.

5.  If you perform steps 1 & 2 before you dispense the desired amount of water and the end result (after obtaining your desired amount of water) is that you no longer see any water in the jug – PLEASE CHANGE THE JUG.

If anyone needs clarification or a demonstration of the above steps, please feel free to stop by my office.  I will be glad to assist you.

Thanks for your consideration and enjoy your chilled water,

– {NAME REMOVED}

Oooohhh!  No clarification needed.  The writer of this letter has already demonstrated that they are a purely putrid person.  I am often asked what’s my motivation to spend a countless number of hours working on Jobacle.com.  Well, it’s letters like this that fuel my fire (and make me want to poison the water cooler!)

And there’s more…  some a-hole felt a follow-up was needed:

Everyone,

I would like to echo {NAME REMOVED} on this.  I have found the water cooler bone dry on two occasions in the last two weeks.  If you are incapable of lifting a full bottle of water, please find me and I will be glad to assist you.  Otherwise, please be a respectful, considerate team player and remember that the water is a privilege, not an entitlement.  If this continues to be a problem, I am sure we can arrange to have the water cooler removed from the 9th floor.

OMG!  If you ever get an annoying e-mail like this – let us know about it.  We’ll post it for the world to see!  Please subscribe to this blog to stay on top of everything work related.

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