In our youth, there is an unspoken feeling of acceptance for our mistakes. We know that there are consequences, but we’re young, foolish, and usually forgiven. It’s ok to mess up, it’s ok to rebel, and it’s all ok because we have our adulthood to make up for it.
Except now we’re adults. We have bills, mortgages, kids (well, just a cat for me), and other basic responsibilities. And it feels as though Big Brother is watching our every move. Are you really going to buy that candy bar? Are you really taking an extra 15 minutes for lunch? Are you really not going to participate in the afternoon discussion during your leadership training course?
Every vice or laziness that I used to give into- well simply because I felt like I could make up for it later- no longer feels like I have that luxury. And if I dare consider to buy that extra something or don’t participate like I should in a work-related discussion, the guilt that accompanies giving into that vice makes it not even worth it.
Suddenly I feel like I am required to live up to this role model standard 100% of my day. Quite frankly, it is exhausting. Granted, I am no longer the procrastinator and I am a much more productive employee and human being in general. But something is missing. The rebellious part of me that once was tied into my identity is being held hostage by adulthood. And the demands are outrageous!
Does it feel painful for anyone else to live up to the constant responsibility of being a role model?