Imported from the BBC, “The Office” has become a new American cultural phenomenon. And chief among its characters is Michael Smart’s personal assistant Pam Beesley. Pam is a mix of smart and sassy and just doesn’t know how to put it quite into words. She has the moxie to hold her own in a company that sometimes seems to be out to get its own employees. And like all high caliber, high performing personal assistants, Pam Beesley is wise beyond her years.
Granted her wisdom comes from the minds of a group of television script writers, it is wisdom nonetheless.
There is something to be learned from Beesley in every episode. Presented here, in no particular order, are 10 of her most important contributions to the lexicon of business wisdom.
• Sleep only with certain bosses and even then, only for very good reasons.
In the first season Beesley is wondering whether her boss will try making her work on Saturday when she and her fiance have plans. “I really hope Dwight doesn’t make me work. Maybe I should sleep with him…I’m kidding. Kidding. Totally kidding.” Dwight is perhaps the most reprehensible character to come along since Louie DePalma, the short, slimey dispatcher from Taxi. DePalma, played by Danny DeVito, was the quintessential pervey boss that only the most unfortunate of us get stuck working for. With Dwight, as with Louie, sleeping with them was just never an option. No weekend off was worth that.
• Health care is a privilege most of us are not privy to.
Faced with the prospect of a new employer health care program which only covered certain diseases, Beesley decided should cover all the bases. Not wanting to leave any potential health hazard out she simply started making up her own diseases. “So, like, let’s say that my teeth turn to liquid and then they drip down the back of my throat. What would you call that?” It’s just this kind of original thinking and spontaneous idea creation that make Beesley the sort of personal assistant we all need. Who else could come up with such a horrible condition on such short notice?
• Don’t be afraid to point out the bosses short comings, but only when forced into a corner.
In the Pilot episode of “The Office” Pam hit the ground running, showing if you forced her hand she was not above calling you out for it. Example:
Michael: Did we get a fax this morning?
Pam: Uh, yeah. The one.
Michael: Why isn’t it in my hand? Because the company runs on efficiency of communication, right? So what’s the problem, Pam? Why didn’t, uh, why didn’t I get it?
Pam: You put it in the garbage can that was the special filing cabinet.
• Always trust your daddy
When push comes to shove Pam relies on the wisdom of her elders to guide her, especially if that man is her father. When Michael is going overboard trying to demonstrate his racial tolerance he asks Pam to name a “white person you trust.”
Pam does not hesitate: “My dad.”
Michael counters with “Danny Glover” but even the veteran actor and all-around nice guy fails to muster the same emotional response we felt when Pam said “my dad.”
• Keep your options open.
Pam seems content at The Office, despite her constant misgivings, put-downs and the insanity which surrounds her. But she is not above considering all the options. When Pam mentions that working in The Office often makes her “lose my appetite all the time” a coworker suggests she consider stripping for a living. Pam’s response? “Thanks.”
• Nothing compares to a good nights sleep
In a conversation with Jim, her on again, off again boyfriend at The Office, Pam mentions that getting a full eight hours sleeps is the best way to face the next day.
“Gotta get your REM cycle going with the whole sleeping,” she said. “Better than not.”
“Good advice Beesley,” he said.
Then Pam adds the most import wisdom she has to impart: “Don’t fall asleep at your desk.” Which is good advice. Most bosses frown on sleeping at your desk, whether they are Michael Scott or not.
• Make the best of every situation
When construction at The Office has employees parking farther from the building and walking the rest of the way in, only Pam is willing to put on a happy face and look on the bright side of things.
Of their walk to work Jim said “today we saw a junk yard dog attacking the bones of a rotisserie chicken.”
Pam’s response? “Nature.”
• First impressions are everything
When Pam first met Jim, on his first day of work, she was ready to point out this was the first day of the rest of his life. And one he would likely long for. “Enjoy this moment,” she said. “Because you’re never going to go back to this time before you met your desk mate Dwight.”
• Recognize your boss is only human
Michael Scott may be an idiot, but he is Pam’s idiot and she knows it. She knows what makes him tick; she knows his faults and his weaknesses and she’s not afraid to use them against him at every opportunity.
“I just want to take a minute to talk to you all about something very serious,” she said. “Once every hour, someone is involved in an internet scam. That man is Michael Scott.”
• Life runs on your time, if you want it to.
When pestered to have the copier repaired sooner rather than later Pam makes certain her co-workers understand they are at her mercy, not the other way around. After all, if they really want the copier fixed they will give her space. Lots and lots of space.
“When will the new copier be ready?”
“I’m working on it,” she said. “It’ll be ready soon.”
“Soon could mean anything. Soon could be three weeks.”
“Is that what ‘soon’ means to you?” she asks.
“Sometimes.”
“Then come back soon,” she said.
And that, are 10 of the best personal assistant moments from Pam Beesly!
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