It is official. The days of the testosterone fueled, beer guzzling, sexually promiscuous, cold-as-ice-male is now over. Did you know that the “modern male” sometimes even sheds a tear or two? What wimps we have turned into! I have the good mind to exterminate the whole male race (well everyone except me of course, I’ll be kept as a sex slave by the fairer half).
Anyway, the results of one of the biggest online surveys run by Askmen.com have recently been released, with some surprising and humorous findings. The Great Male Survey 2008 is broken down into four categories: lifestyle, sexuality, dating, and money & power.
Below is a brief summary, but afterwards, you should click on the link at the end of the page to have a look for yourselves.
Lifestyle:
The majority of “modern men” admit that they are more concerned about how kempt they look, and admit to using some sort of moisturizer to tackle those nasty skin blemishes and problematic dry areas. They also admit to using a specific hair shampoo in order to look fabulously delightful, and have that “hair to die for” look. However there is some hope for the chauvinistic pigs out there as 61% of males believe that fashion shows are just for women. This is disgraceful if you ask me…some of those dresses are extremely arousing.
Sexuality:
What a surprise. Did you know that 97% of men think that sex is important in a relationship, even though 71% can’t tell if a woman has faked an orgasm. (This has obviously never happened to me because I am a Sex God, and my wrath is always felt…also, men lie about sex, if you haven’t noticed). This survey also states that 50% of men tell fibs about the number of sexual partners they’ve had, with the majority of men saying they have bedded 15 partners or more. Now I’m no whiz at inferential statistics, but this result shows that when it comes to experience in the erotic arena, men are a bunch of lying bastards, and have probably screwed more right hands in their time than vaginas. Keep up the bragging gents…the chicks dig it.
Dating:
It seems that we men simultaneously have a soft side and also a hard side. For example a lot of men out there believe they have a soul mate, and are actively seeking her. On the other hand a whopping 80% of men have said that they have come close to beating the shit out of their partner. 70% of men are also huge fans of the sanctity of marriage, and will actively seek to preserve this sacred institution, whilst 36% have spent lonely nights alone crying into their pillows over a lady friend. Once again, not me because I’m a big-brave-bulging-bulbous-baboon-of-a-man who is frightened by no-one, or thing, on this green earth…except for frogs, I hate those slimy little sh*ts.
Money & Power:
The results on this category have dug up some very serious underlying issues. Did you know that a lot of men think that women are gold diggers. Shocking isn’t it? More specifically, the majority of men really believe that women put too much value on a man’s financial worth, but also believe that’s its OK to do this because men put too much value on women’s looks. I don’t know how or why these balance each other out, but they apparently do. These findings are quite concerning considering most of the men in this survey believe they are being under paid. Therefore if men believe women value money, and we men don’t have enough of it then our egos will take a hit. No wonder the sexes don’t get along. Too much is not enough, so too little means we’re screwed.
Check out the full results.
This is a guest post by Chris O’ Hara.
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