As we all know, there are many types people who work around the office. People of different color, race, background, and culture. But no matter how many diverse people you bump into, there always seems to be some constant personality types which are present. To be honest, I will need your help on this article as I am finding it hard to categorize observable traits into personality types. Below are the first four personality types I found scurrying around the work place, and hopefully you can suggest some more.
The Spoofer
For those of you who are not familiar with Dublin slang, a spoof is a lie, and of course, according to the rules of grammar, a spoofer is a person who spoofs. Not only do these people lie constantly, but anything you can do, they can do better (well, at least according to them). If you are good at football, they are experts. If you are handy in the kitchen, they are culinary wizards. And if you are any way decent in the sack (bed), then they are the equivalent of Ron Jeremy. I find that the best way to deal with these ridiculous human specimens is to either put up and shut up, and accept their nonsense, or to drop kick them down a flight of stairs. I recommend the stairs.
The Egotistical
There are so many egotistical dudes walking around my office, and I love it. They are just so damn amusing to speak to and to watch. You know the type, they think they are God’s gift to the world, constantly preening, fixing, and watching themselves in any reflective surface in their immediate area. They have a kind of John Travolta strut in Saturday Night Fever. Oh, and they will not be working in "this place" for much longer, as they are just waiting for their millionaire plan to hatch, and then they’ll be gone. But don’t be too harsh on them. I find the best way to interact with this type is to give them some hair gel or make up, and tell them what beautiful people they are, and God bless them they need it, because underneath it all, lies an ego waiting to crumble.
The Driven
This type of personality can usually be found in executive staff, managers, supervisors, and the up and coming go getter who has just been employed. They are constantly talking about the goals they have in place, and how they will work their asses off to get what they want. They are the first in the office in the morning, and the last to leave at night. They hardly ever get to spend time with their friends or family, and are never satisfied even when they do achieve those wondrous goals. Even so, most people who display this personality type usually do very well in business, and tend to earn a lot of money. The problem is that they cannot switch off, constantly complain of stress, and then die of a premature heart attack at the age of 50. The way I see it, these people have 2 options.
(A) They can take lots and lots of Xanax.
(B) They can move to the Canary islands, open a small bar on the beach, go surfing everyday, marry a Dutch chick called Heidi, live simply, give more, and expect less. Easy!
The Slut
Ah the office slut, I love ya Susan. The Temple bar at 9 tonight? If I can’t pick up another chick, you’ll do. See ya there sweetheart.
What office types do you find yourself frequently dealing with?
This is a guest post by Chris O’Hara.
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