Have you had this experience with a co-worker or boss – no matter who he is interacting with, he takes on the characteristics of that person? It could be mimicking the person’s mannerisms, voice inflection or even using the same verbiage or jargon. It’s weird if you notice it once or twice, but if it’s a constant M.O. of taking on personality traits, it can get a little creepy.
Why would someone adopt this behavior? From a psychological perspective, it could be a number of different things.
* Fitting in – When we go into a situation in which we are uncomfortable, we look to others for the “norms.” We can then modify our behavior to fit in. This can happen when interacting with someone from a different culture – we follow their lead.
* Social discomfort – Some people have difficulty reading social cues, some even body language or facial expressions. Or they have a form of social phobia or anxiety disorder that results in discomfort around others. So mimicking someone in the group is a way to decrease the anxiety.
* Personality disorders – I won’t go into diagnostics here, but there are psychiatric disorders that involve extremely poor boundary identification. Often these folks don’t even completely understand where “they” end and “you” begin.
So, in the above scenarios, we might cut the mimicker some slack. Are we uncomfortable around them? Sure. But what if the above don’t apply and it’s just the totally obnoxious co-worker or boss. This mimicking behavior from a boss can seem particularly insulting. Kind of a “Hey, I’m just one of you peons, too, a regular guy. Let’s just shoot the breeze like buddies.” Please! Intelligent people see through this immediately. It diminishes the boss’s credibility and authority.
How do you deal with these people? If it’s a colleague, you could confront them by saying, “I notice when you’re talking to me, you seem to be mimicking me. Maybe you aren’t aware of it or intend it, but it makes me uncomfortable.” If your colleague is a fellow supervisor, you might point out the behavior and ask if he thinks it might be poorly received by the supervisee. In both cases, you have brought the behavior to his attention. Wait and see what he does with that information. If he doesn’t make any modifications, you might address it with his/your boss or HR.
Do You Work with Mr. “Mimic?”
This is a post by Nancy LaFever. You can read more from her at the Centre for Emotional Wellbeing blog.
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