You’re cheap. Especially at work. I guarantee it. I’m not talking about financially, but rather, with words of praise.
Why do so many of us hold back kind words and encouragement when it comes to co-workers?
Given that we all need strokes (the fundamental unit of a social transaction according to Transactional Analysis) we sure are stingy when it comes to spreading the love.
Instead of viewing Friday the 13th as a day of bad luck, why not use it as a turning point for some on-the-job GOOD luck? Here are some surefire ways to to show your co-workers that you care about them – not only as associates – but as human beings.
–Show genuine interest. When a colleague talks, be a a good listener. The first step is to tune out everything else around you and shut down your inner chatter. If you’re thinking about whether or not you remembered to record Top Chef tonight, you are not being a good listener. Be sure to follow up with thoughtful, detailed questions. Maintain comfortable eye contact and stay relaxed.
–Acknowledge what’s important to the person. Just like high school, everyone craves acceptance. Empathy is powerful. Try your best to affirm and/or validate what your co-workers are working on. You might not agree with everything they’ve done on a project, but give the devil’s advocate stuff a rest. Yes, constructive criticisms should be pointed out if it’s detrimental to the topic at hand. However, if it’s minutia, keep your mouth shut and you’ll be doing that person a true service.
– Pour on the praise. "Nice job." "Well done." "I’m impressed." "Thank you." These phrases of praise are treated like lepers at the workplace. Shower people with them and they’ll be more receptive to you. Why be a miser with kind words?
– Trust Everyone. At least until proven wrong. Isn’t it nice when people ask for your input and confide in you? Everyone wants to be trusted. Why not share a secret or personal detail with someone to boost their confidence in you. No one’s asking you to tell a colleague about your mother’s ingrown toenail or how much you have saved in the bank – save your sob stories. Choose something that’s important to you, but somewhat minor. Even if you don’t truly feel better saying it, they’ll feel better hearing it.
– Ask to help. Just like you don’t want to be cheap with words, you shouldn’t limit your actions. Assuming you are not completely overwhelmed, it would be wise of you to pitch in to help. Not only does this type of generosity often come back two-fold, it also warms the heart of the recipient.
We all want to be loved and cheered on as we get close to the finish line. I say you break the mold and be unafraid to spread some love!
Now show some love for the Jobacle blog by subscribing and leaving a comment below. Since planting a wet one on a co-worker is unacceptable, tell us how you propose to make others feel good about themselves.
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